


The Adventures of a Boy and a Little Village Goddess

by WildButterflies



Series: A little village goddess [2]
Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Kenshin/Kaoru, Mentions of Kenshin/Tomoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-09-12 21:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16879101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildButterflies/pseuds/WildButterflies
Summary: Shinta is a boy who lived in a small village with a goddess that blessed the rains, but what happens when everyone dies and the goddess fades?*This is a companion piece to The Adventures of a Little Village Goddess.  I would definitely read the other first though.*





	1. Chapter 1

Shinta is born on a rainy day. A bad omen, the midwife said, until she saw downy tufts of reddish hair and blue eyes flecked with violet. “It’s best to give this child to the forest. It could only be a child of an oni with that coloring.” Instead, his mother forces the woman to leave and lays back on her bedding. Gently she pulls her child to her chest, and smiles when his eyes seem to focus on her face. 

She has lost a husband as well as her other babes which makes this one a tiny miracle. He is perfect in every way from the tips of his little toes to the fluffy red down on his head. A few days later, she takes her child to the shrine and almost stumbles on the stairs. Her legs are still weak from childbirth but she refuses to succumb to weakness. It’s with a sigh of relief that she seats herself on a low step of the shrine.

Her smile almost falters when she sees the telltale swirls of water announcing her goddess’ approach. She had known that she wouldn’t be able to see her anymore, but a stubborn part of her still hoped. Ignoring the loss, she lowers her son to the water and lays him on the top. There is not a single moment of hesitance. She is secure in the knowledge that he won’t be hurt by the water of their goddess. 

After she watches her son almost levitate above the water, she whispers. “Shinta. His name is Shinta.” Shinta seems to jerk sharply and she forces herself not to do anything other than to smile. It seems their goddess realized that she couldn’t be seen. She ignores the sense of loss and instead focuses on the joy. Sight is a small price to pay for her son to be born kicking and screaming instead of still and cold.

A few years later, Shinta comes to her and draws in the dirt instead of speaking. “What’s wrong Shinta?” He refuses to look at her. Instead he almost whispers his response. “They didn’t want to play with me because I look funny. Why do I have to have red hair?” She sits next to him and stares into her lap. “I had lost your father and siblings. When you had stopped moving, I thought I would lose you too. I begged for the goddess’ blessing and then you were born. Perfect from the tips of your little toes to the top of your red hair.’ 

Shinta’s tone is pleading. “But why is my hair red?” She reaches to run her fingers through his hair. “It marks you as one beloved by our goddess.” Shinta looks away from her so she sighs and watches him for a moment. Instead of coddling, she resorts to the same method her parents used when she was little. 

The technique of distraction works wonders as she presents a small spinning top to him. The small top had been hers when she was a child and she liked the idea of always being with him. Even if it was through a small toy. Shinta walks and admires his new top. Maybe the kids will play with him if he shares his top? 

Instead, they react with horror at the idea of playing with him. One even yells at him while running off with the others. “Only oni have red hair. I’m not playing with an oni.” Dejected, he tries hard not to cry and looks for somewhere to spin his top. Shinta settles on a flat rock by the river to play but, only a few seconds after spinning, the top flies off into the river. 

Tears burn the back of his eyes as he realizes it’s far too deep for him to retrieve. He stares with wide eyes when the top floats from the water and spins itself merrily on the rock. Something that’s not even possible. His eyes dart back to the river and he thinks back to what his mother spoke of a goddess she had once been able to see. “Goddess?” 

Then he can only see blue eyes and hair so black it’s almost blue. She looks as excited to see him as he is to see her. He holds the top out to her and that’s all it takes for her to start playing with him. Shinta comes to see her every day after that. He even makes up games for her to play with him since she can’t be on land. 

Eventually she speaks to him. “You know… everyone in my village has made a wish. Except you. Did you want to make one? I might be able to grant it.” Shinta’s face burns and he ducks his head. There is only one thing that he wants most in the world. “A person who doesn’t think I’m an oni. One that would be friends with me.”  
She looks devastated as she whispers to him. “One day. One day you’ll have one.” Shinta thrusts his pinkie in her face. “Pinkie promise?” The goddess seals the deal as she wraps her larger pinkie finger around his. “Pinkie promise.” 

Traders came to their village and did some small trades with them for a few days. Enough for his mother to ask he stay home to help her with making a few more baskets. Then people started getting sick. His mother doesn’t suffer long from the disease, but refuses to allow him near her during this time of illness. “Take food and go to the shrine Shinta. I don’t want you to get sick too.” 

Shinta waits alone in the shrine for days before he hears something dragging itself from the water up the shrine steps. She doesn’t make it into the shrine before he’s clinging to her sobbing. It doesn’t take long for him to notice the goddess is translucent. Something that she had never been before. After a while, he quiets and whispers to her. “Goddess, are you leaving me too?”

She smiles sadly at him. “Only after you stop believing that I exist. Only then.” They both fall asleep still holding onto each other. Shinta is woken by coarse words and rough hands that drag him away from his goddess. Her eyes are wide in her face and her teeth are bared at the men. However, men cannot fear a goddess so weak she’s unable to protect a child. They don’t even begin to believe in her presence even as Shinta reaches for her.

“He’ll probably fetch an ok price. Everyone wants a child. They’re the easiest to train when they’re young.” Shinta screams for her as they pull him away. Her rain pours from the skies and he watches as she struggles towards him on trembling arms. The last thing he sees is her face before passing out.


	2. Chapter 2

Shinta is terrified and grieving for the first few days of travel. The girls, his fellow slaves, don’t accuse him of being an oni or mistreat him because of his red hair. One even pets his hair softly and watches him play with his top. Black and blue tease his peripheral vision as they continue to travel. He looks each time with raised hopes that the goddess has come for him, only for them to be dashed when she’s nowhere to be seen.

Then bandits stream from the mountains and slaughter his new friends even as they surround him pleading for his life. The rain pours so hard it seems to scream with them, and then there is a large man with an even larger white cloak. The bandits never have time to scream. He disposes of them dispassionately and stares at the small boy with a displeased frown. 

The man, Hiko Seijirou, had been plagued by dreams that promised him an apprentice in exchange for saving the life of a child. This runt is not an apprentice. The boy is barely large enough to hold a kitchen knife much less a sword. Although.... The runt is staring at him with fearless surprise. Steady nerves this one, but still… This brat isn’t worthy of being his apprentice.

Shinta is faintly surprised when the man tells him where to go for safety and shelter. It’s still a distant sensation when he’s left alone in a blood soaked field. Numbly, he stares at the bodies before slowly reaching for something to dig graves. Shinta doesn’t notice the rain has stopped, that his hands are bleeding, or the flashes of black and blue in his peripheral. 

In such a short time, he has lost his mother, his home, his goddess, and new friends. When he can no longer dig, he curls up on the graves to sleep as he grieves before digging again. Hiko continues to have dreams that practically demand him to take the boy as his apprentice. Finally, the dreams prod him into at least checking the village for the boy. Only… only he finds the boy never made it there.

Brat must have killed himself. Well, he can hardly blame the boy. Grown men would probably have a hard time stomaching the bloodshed, much less a child. It’s only with one purpose that he heads back up the mountain, and it’s to bury the dead there. Except, instead of bodies, he finds the boy finishing up grave digging. 

This time he studies the boy’s personality. Digging graves for the murderers of his friends, those who would have sold him, and for the women -girls they were only girls not even old enough to be women- who had protected him to the best of their abilities displays a certain inner strength. The child radiates a certain kindness and a fierce need to protect.

Except for his name and size, he’s a good candidate for apprenticeship. A flash of black and blue appears at the furthest corner of his vision when he renames the boy. A strong name like Kenshin can only help the boy grow up stronger. He eyes the boy when taking him home. What strange coloring…

Kenshin trains hard and learns to ignore the flashes of black and blue. His goddess is gone, his friends are gone, his mother is gone, and his home is gone. All that is left, is to move on. Hiko seems content to beat it into him. It isn’t until Kenshin doubts that his goddess ever existed that he realizes his mistake. 

A translucent woman lays propped up against a tree that overlooks Hiko’s cabin. Kenshin watches as the woman with blue eyes and blue-black hair stops staring off into space before seemingly focusing on something in front of her. She blinks slowly before her lips curl into a smile. And then she fades away like dust to the wind. 

Uncomprehending, he stares at the spot the woman faded away. A slow dawning horror chills his body and his eyes dart to Hiko, who is also staring at the spot. ‘Only until you stop believing I exist. Only then.’ And he had doubted. Which killed her. 

This time, Kenshin doesn’t react to Hiko’s goads. Hiko eyes the boy after the third day he refuses to eat. Brat. Hiko supposes he could understand, but this would be a disgraceful end to his first apprentice... It’s with a gusty sigh that he develops a plan. The next day, he’s left an older woman from the village in charge of his idiot brat of an apprentice. 

A few days later, he finds himself in the ruins of what had been a small beautiful village. It’s not until Hiko sees the shrine for himself that he realizes what has been lost from the world. Each piece had been lovingly hewn without a single imperfection. Never had he seen a shrine with this much care and devotion, but he had seen a woman with blue eyes and black-blue hair fade away with a smile. A stray thought from… Was it a book or another random fact his master had always been spouting off? ‘Gods of the sea cannot exist on land without severe pain due to being cut off from the sea.’

When he returns home and shoos the old woman back to the village, Kenshin is eating small amounts. Hiko assembles pieces that he took of the shrine into a smaller version of it and slaps it into a corner before grumbling at Kenshin. “There you idiot apprentice. Now she has a grave too so get over it, go outside, and swing five-thousand times.”

He most certainly didn’t get hives from wide violet eyes. A few years later found him still with the idiot apprentice who was -surprise surprise- still an idiot. The brat also seemed to be forever child-sized. Kenshin thought about his goddess each time he saw the shrine that doubled as her grave. So long ago, she had promised him a friend that wouldn’t think of him as an oni. Did she ever realize that she had been that friend?

In the end, she had taught him to be tolerant and to protect without ever meaning to do so. One night, after several bottles of alcohol, Hiko mentions dreams from a goddess that told him to rescue a child and teach said child swordsmanship. ‘Teach him to protect with the sword.’ Kenshin watched Hiko pause after that phrase, seemingly far away, and chug down another bottle before ranting about something he apparently considered equally appalling. However, Kenshin didn’t hear another word after learning of her will for him to protect with the sword. 

Kenshin fights with his master later that month, convinced his mission to save as many lives as possible is far more important than finishing his training or heeding Hiko’s word. 

He joins the Ishin Shishi, and suddenly Kenshin no longer exists. 

Instead, there is only Hitokiri Battousai.


	3. Chapter 3

Hitokiri Battosai fights without mercy or kindness. Only after the fighting is done does he offer silent prayers for them. Regret is the one thing he feels, and before it can overwhelm him, he shoves it to the deepest place. It’s for a better world, he tells himself. Good will come of this bloodshed. 

Except…. It feels like an excuse or a justification. So he can wash the blood all he wants but it’ll never come off. Hair dyed red from the blood of his victims people whisper. Too fast and too ruthless to be human, and he begins to forget he ever was. An oni, the children had called him so long ago. 

Perhaps his mother had been wrong about his red hair marking him as beloved by their goddess. All he saw was how the others were silently terrified and the blood on his hands. Hitokiri Battosai can feel himself dying by inches with each slaughter by his blade. And then, he sees a girl in white sleep clothes walk by and almost stops himself from proceeding with his mission. Only one thing holds his attention and it’s the look in blue eyes -the same shade as his goddess from all those years ago- when his target walks through her. Rough hands, blue eyes wide with rage, and screams of his name flash through his mind at the sight of the girl’s reaction. 

It’s the madness of a hitokiri that rises up and takes over. Red hot anger has seared his bones and forced him to react without thought. Only after he watches her lips form his name, does he come back to himself. Disgusted and horrified with the madness slowly infiltrating his mind, he whispers part of his prayers. 

Only to his goddess does he pray. The sound of the cleanup crew startles him enough to realize this is not real. Can’t be real. So he walks aimlessly until he reaches the inn and finds himself scrubbing blood from his hands until fingers wrap around his wrist. Small delicate fingers that can’t be real because he knows those eyes that come with them. 

He watched others walk through the owner of these fingers. She’s not real. Can’t be real because he watched her die by his own fault. It’s the shock of feeling warmth around his wrist that has him pulling away from them. This time he notices the girl following him and stifles an amused chuckle when she realizes where, exactly, she has followed him. 

The look on her face as she trots outside of the men’s washroom is that of embarrassed horror. It’s not until after she leaves that he realizes he has yet to inquire as to her purpose in following him to the hideout. For a scarce moment, he considers the loyalty he owes to Katsura would require him to report that he had been followed. 

But… then what would he say? An invisible girl followed me to our base of operations? Katsura would think him mad or worse… he would believe him and ask the girl to spy on the Shinsengumi. No, he decides. She will remain unknown to all. He steps outside clean and again stifles an amused chuckle at the sight of the girl with her eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

Her hands pressed to them for good measure as though they may betray her any given moment. Hitokiri Battosai gently tugs her fingers away and ends up jumping back in response to when she flails wildly before falling over. What a clumsy thing, he thinks, as he pulls her up onto her feet. Footsteps echo through the halls and he’s suddenly reminded they’re not alone.

“Come.” It’s a rude demand but she follows him anyway. Battosai closes the shoji behind her and settles into his normal spot for the night’s sleep. It was strategically chosen to be close to the window should the inn be invaded. He winces inside even as he says it. “Explain.” 

He supposes he deserves the dark look she gives him after making single worded demands. Somewhere in the middle of that thought he realizes she has yet to say a word, and he could slap himself for not realizing that sooner. "Can you speak?" Settling across from him, the girl shakes her head no and taps the floor twice. "Are you alive?" 

Nodding this time, she taps the floor once. "One tap for yes and two for no?" This time, she taps the floor once sharply. Battosai stares at her at a loss for words only for a moment. "Are you a god?" And at this question, it seems as though her eyes are far older than he could ever dream of being. A weariness seems to drape over the girl and she stares blankly for a moment before continuing.

Slowly she taps the floor twice, pauses, and taps once more. "Is that a maybe?" Two taps this time. "...Were you a god at one time?" Blue eyes seem to pierce through him before she gives him her reply. One tap.

“Do you know me? I mean, you did sort of say my name…” Raw unfiltered grief flashes across her face for only a moment before she holds out her hand. He stares at her hand for a long moment, unsure of what she wants, and she starts tracing characters on his hand. Irritation boils over inside of him after this point until she draws a picture of his mother on scrap paper. Battosai had almost forgotten what she looked like, and suddenly he feels far too old in his skin. “Why are you here?” 

He should have expected the girl to look at him with grief at this question. As though she thought he would know without asking. The hitokiri definitely didn’t expect her arms to awkwardly reel him into a hug. He hadn’t been hugged since… The thought trails off as he tries to remember and he’s not surprised that he can’t remember the last hug. There’s something profound in a kind touch from another. 

It’s only when she starts to pull away that he realizes he’s not ready for it to end. So he drifts off with a small warm body in his arms, and wakes in a better mood than he had been in a long time. Soon, he learns the girl only appears at night when he’s doing his work. A few small rules, and several dark looks from her during the creation of these rules, he finds himself spinning his top with her.

He knows she’s far older than him because he can see it in her eyes. However, he can’t help but want to treat her as he did his goddess. It’s with a great sense of deja vu that he watches her pick up his top and spin it for him. Battosai pretends his fingers aren’t shaking when he plays spinning top with her for the rest of the night. 

Hitokiri Battosai has gotten used to coming home to his small room in the inn. He has gotten used to a small warm body seated next to him when he sleeps. And perhaps.... Perhaps this is why he doesn’t kill a drunk woman and instead brings her to the inn.

 

Perhaps he’s not just Hitokiri Battosai anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Himura Battosai felt strange walking through the inn the first few days. The woman, Tomoe, had made herself at home working in the inn. The men that had previously recoiled or blanched at the sight of him, started to make…. Comments about him and Tomoe. Things that made his face feel as red as his hair until he reacted in embarrassment. 

 

It was as though bringing Tomoe home had made him seem human instead of being a murderous wraith walking through the halls of the inn, but the mere sight of his anger had them paling and making pitiful excuses. Tomoe sleeps in his room with a twitch of her lips that spoke of displeasure, but speaks gracious words. Himura Battosai almost bitterly notes her surprise at him sleeping against the wall instead of trying to share the futon. 

 

Like the others, she too is convinced he’s a monster. He stares at the permanent blood on his hands listening to her breathing level out when she drifts off. Little Goddess should be coming soon. What will she have to say about this classically beautiful woman taking up his futon? Himura Battosai can’t look at her as he mutters. “It’s not what it looks like. She’s just a drunk that saw me kill someone and I didn’t want to kill her.” 

 

He’s prepared for a teasing smirk or a knowing smile. What he’s not prepared for is for her to quietly sit next to him softly smiling at nothing. Somehow, sleep comes quickly for him that night. 

 

The more time he spends with Tomoe, the more he finds himself becoming attached. Even Little Goddess seems attached to her, and perhaps that’s what motivates him to go out of his way to be kind to Tomoe. She’s a hard-working and soft spoken woman. Spending time with her is like spending time with Little Goddess. He feels… human with them.

 

During the inn’s raid, he half hopes that Little Goddess doesn’t come tonight and half hopes Tomoe is safe. It’s only after she’s safe that he can slip back into being Hitokiri Battosai. Even then, it is difficult to fit himself completely into the role. It’s even more difficult to remain emotionless.

 

So he takes off after his colleagues instead of continuing the fighting, and suddenly everything changes. Katsura tells him to go into hiding with Tomoe as his wife, and he’s back in a small village trying to make a house into a home. For the mission of course. Not because he’s slowly and yet so quickly falling in love with Tomoe. 

 

Everything feels like a dream. A dream that he would like to have every night if only Little Goddess would stop avoiding them. Kenshin hasn’t figured out what to do about her wandering around doing random chores and scurrying away at the sight of them until he wakes from yet another dream of blue eyes. Except his time he remembers a goddess in a small village with blue-black hair, fierce blue eyes, and a long scaled tail that would play spinning top with him when the other children refused. 

 

Kenshin waits until the next night before hunting down Little Goddess, and he finds her sprawled out on a hill overlooking his home. Walking closer allows him to see how she stares at the stars in wonder. So instead of quickening his pace, he slows and sits next to her quietly. It seems a crime to break the peace, so he speaks quietly while toying with the top in his sleeve.

 

“You’re the goddess from my village aren’t you?” She smiles faintly and continues to stare at the stars. Kenshin doesn’t need her to confirm what he already knows, and slowly pulls out his top. He stares at the scratches and flaking paint before pressing it into her hands. “You kept your promise of giving me a friend. It’s my offering to you.” She slowly turns it and he can see the grief and contentment warring on her face. 

 

Ever so gently, she wraps his fingers around the top and smiles at him. Kenshin waits a few more hours until walking back into his home, and Tomoe looks up questioningly from the repair she’s doing on a sleeve. Instead of an answer she sees a genuine smile on his face. He falls asleep quickly in his spot against the wall.

 

It’s with a trembling sigh that Tomoe sets aside her sewing and stares at the man responsible for her fiance’s death. The Battosai, the man who murdered people so quickly they had no chance to defend themselves, rumored to be a demon who’s hair was dyed red from the blood of it’s victims seemed more like an innocent. It’s not right she thinks. It’s not right for the man she was sent to deceive to be this person. 

 

She had grown so used to thinking of him as the man who stole her happiness, and yet now here he is providing her with it. Tomoe cannot forget the rain of blood. She cannot forget the sweet shy smiles the Battosai, Kenshin, gives her. She cannot forget her fiance, but… She can forgive.

 

 

So she does, and allows herself to live in this sweet dream.


	5. Chapter 5

Kenshin admits he loves both Tomoe and Little Goddess. In different ways of course. Little Goddess accepts him. She accepts every part of him, even the dark parts that he’s scared of sharing with Tomoe. That is something he will not take for granted, and he treasures every moment.

 

Tomoe makes him feel at peace. When he’s with her, he dreams of a world where he could have been a farmer and she his wife. They could have married in front of the goddess’ shrine in the traditional way of his village. The two of them would walk the winding steps in traditional white robes on a sunny day.

 

If their marriage was well fated, the Goddess would send a gentle rain. Then, they would go home and live happily together. Each child they had would be blessed by the goddess. As well as their children’s children. Kenshin yearns for that dream to come true one day, and knows the impossibility of it all. 

 

As days fly by, Tomoe finally asks him about why chores are done overnight. Kenshin confides in her about his village and how the villagers died from Cholera except for him. He tells her of the Goddess of Rain that faded away and reappeared as Little Goddess. Tomoe doesn’t interrupt and he can see how she struggles to believe him.

 

He smiles when she takes the leap of faith and walks outside at night. It’s the weeds plucking themselves from the ground and landing in neat piles that convince her, but it takes her a few nights to speak to the ‘Little Goddess’. Kenshin really needs to give her a better name. She places ink and paper next to one of the weed piles and takes a few calming breaths before speaking. “What are you?”

 

Tomoe winces inwardly. That wasn’t the question she planned to ask. Instead of answers, she’s greeted with horribly written answers so vague she may as well haven’t asked. Despite this, she keeps trying for several nights until she can no longer look at that awful calligraphy. So the routine changes to nightly lessons.

 

At night Little Goddess practices characters, Tomoe writes in her diary, and Kenshin leans against the wall and watches them. Eventually he asks Tomoe to teach him how to read, and sleeps through a few of Tomoe’s lessons with Little Goddess. “What do you want for Kenshin?” She asks that question and feels the weight of unseen eyes on her. Tomoe feels like a child pinned under Little Goddess’ gaze until she looks away.

 

The brush floats in the air for several moments before touching paper. “What I want for Kenshin, is only his happiness. He is happy here instead of fighting. However, he has taken blood onto his hands with the singular goal of making the world a better place and so he won’t stay happy here. Eventually, he’ll have to go back and finish what he started. If he doesn’t, then all the killing was for nothing.” She stares at the paper before the brush moves to add the final piece. “I think Kenshin would want nothing more than to protect people without killing.”

 

When Little Goddess disappears, Tomoe is still staring at her diary contemplating what she read and slips the Little Goddess’ paper between her diary pages. Then the dream comes to an end. The group Tomoe joined, when she wanted the Battosai dead for what he did to Akira, found their home and her brother showed up only to reveal he had also joined them. Enishi, the sweet toddler who followed her around had a mad light to his eyes.

 

Had her quest for vengeance ruined his sanity? It only adds to her guilt. That night, Little Goddess doesn’t come and Kenshin joins her on the futon as husband. Tomoe waits until he falls deeply asleep and takes the chance to write in her diary. Her diary and a letter are all she leaves him when she slips away. 

 

This is my penance she thinks. For failing Akira and loving his murderer. For loving Kenshin and failing him as well. Penance for failing Enishi. She’ll be with Akira again and Enishi is a smart enterprising boy. He’ll be fine. As one final action, she whispers a prayer to Little Goddess for Kenshin. May you be there for him in this time of death. Then she walks to where death awaits with sure steps and a strong spine.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
Kenshin walks with Tomoe’s scarf. He doesn’t care about the men that die and he doesn’t care about his wounds. Only Tomoe matters right now. Tomoe with her dark eyes and calm demeanor and her small smiles. So each time he crumples to the snow laden ground, he gets back up. Each time it looks as though he’ll lose, he wins.

 

So when the last opponent falls, he blinks the blood from his eyes and discovers why his blade feels heavier. Tomoe and the man crumple. Kenshin grabs Tomoe and gathers her closely. Not Tomoe. Not her. He can’t near to lose her like the others or, worse, be responsible for her death.

 

Tomoe struggles to whisper comforting words, but her body feels like lead. Suddenly Little Goddess is there, next to Kenshin. At least… she thinks it’s Little Goddess as she takes a moment to study eyes too old for a child’s face. Then, Tomoe draws her dagger across Kenshin’s face to cancel her fiance’s curse and remind him that he’s not alone. It takes effort, but she smiles at both of them. She feels peace as she whispers to them. “It’s alright… So please don’t cry…”

 

Tomoe slowly blinks once before she sinks into death’s embrace. Kenshin sobs out entreaties to Tomoe’s body before turning to Little Goddess. “Can’t you do something?” Her eyes to an empty space above Tomoe’s body only for her face to fall in disappointment. Little Goddess taps Kenshin’s shoulder twice before placing her fingers over his hand.

 

Kenshin jerks away from her touch. He can’t right now. He can’t be around her because he doesn’t want to blame her for not being able to save Tomoe. “Don’t touch me. Just- just go away. Leave me alone.” Kenshin presses his lips to Tomoe’s hair just as he feels Little Goddess snatch the top out of his sleeve. 

 

He only asked her to go away. She didn’t need to snatch things from his sleeve, so he turns to snap at her only to stare in slow dawning horror. “Wha- No. No, I didn’t mean it. Please not you too…” Little Goddess is translucent and tears slip from her eyes as she fades even further. Soon, there’s nothing left of her. Kenshin wraps himself tighter around Tomoe’s body and screams. No one is there to hear.


	6. Chapter 6

Kenshin is alone in this world. Tomoe is buried and Little Goddess is gone. After a few nights of waiting for her to appear, he turns to Tomoe’s diary. Reading the diary is hard, and he starts at the end to try getting it over with sooner. She had written in elegant strokes on top of pages filled with a child-like scrawl. ‘I asked Little Goddess what she wanted for you husband.’ As he read Little Goddess’ answer, the words ‘protect people without killing’ resonate. 

 

Quietly, he sets Little Goddess’ answers to the side, finishes Tomoe’s diary, and stares at the house he’d thought of as home. They had wanted so little of him and so much for him. Atonement, no more deaths, and happiness… At the very least he could give them two out of the three.  
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-  
Ten years is a long time to wander. Ten years of not killing and atoning for his crimes. When he meets a girl with fierce blue eyes that almost seem too old and too innocent for her face, he can’t help but think of Little Goddess. She even asked for his real name instead of flinching away at the title Battosai. “I want you, the wanderer-” 

 

Those words are enough to have him agree a thousand times over. Just a little while, he promises himself. “Kenshin.” He tells her, and doesn’t miss how her eyes widen in recognition. Little Goddess? No. Firmly he stuffs the hope down. She’s gone, and this one won’t be a replacement for her. 

 

Kaoru-dono is a girl with a temper and runs a dojo with no students. So, he brings her Yahiko, a student in the form of a malnourished orphan who shouts insults as protection. Then, a fighter for hire soon begins to half-live in Kaoru-dono’s dojo, and somehow brings a fox woman with him. Megumi-san is… complicated. Kenshin isn’t sure if she’s truly trying to flirt with him, or if she does it for the way Kaoru-dono reacts.

 

Slowly, each of them notice something odd about Kaoru-dono. “Hey Kenshin, you ever notice when Missy is enraged beyond reason it rains so hard you can’t see your own hand?” He stares at the rain instead of responding to Sano. Sano seems to take that as agreement, and they both stand on the porch waiting for the rain to die off before going back inside the dojo. 

 

Yahiko attaches himself to Kaoru-dono and yet tries to push her away with insults. He and Megumi toss barbed insults at Lit-, no Kaoru-dono, and Kenshin finds himself irritated on some days. It’s not until Yahiko and Megumi walk in on her changing the blood-soaked bandages wrapped around her feet that they both change to fond jabs. 

 

That day, Yahiko is pale and his hands shake as he watches Megumi interrogate Kaoru-dono. “Are you hurt? Is it infected? How long has this been going on?” Kenshin watches Kaoru smile faintly from the doorway. “Only a year or two. I’m not injured, it’s just something that happens.” Megumi’s lips thin as she wipes away blood, and examines Kaoru-dono’s feet. She glances at Yahiko and Kenshin sharply from the corner of her eyes. “I need to do a full examination. You two need to leave.”

 

When the shoji shuts, Yahiko is white as parchment. “Yahiko, why don’t you go clean the dojo as a surprise for Kaoru-dono? I’m sure it would make her happy.” The distraction will be good for Yahiko, he thinks. He can see his own fear reflected in Yahiko’s eyes. Is Kaoru dying? Dr. Gensai didn’t seem concerned, but Megumi seems so alarmed… Laundry, he decides, is the best way not to think. So Kenshin does laundry until Megumi sits next to him. “I don’t understand. It doesn’t make any sense medically.” 

 

He carefully hangs clothing to dry searching for words. “She doesn’t seem to be suffering, and her appetite is still strong. Surely those are good signs.” Megumi startles when Yahiko speaks behind her. Kenshin always forgets that others don’t know when someone is coming up behind them. “Busu isn’t dying right?” His eyes search Megumi’s face. “I- I don’t have cause to believe that she is dying.”

 

Yahiko stares at Megumi for a long moment with an expression far too old for a child his age. He walks into the dojo without saying another word. A few moments later, Kenshin hears cleaning start again and settles back into washing laundry. 

 

Days and adventures pass. Kenshin is suddenly struck with the knowledge that he has a new family. A makeshift family held together by one Kamiya Kaoru of the Kasshin Style. It’s both terrifying and thrilling to think about. It’s also one of the reasons why he can’t stay when Shishio surfaces for revenge against the government. He cannot paint a target on them, and they’re safer staying in Tokyo. So on the 14th of May, Kenshin bids Kaoru farewell and allows himself a single hug before disappearing into the darkness.

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During long hours of silence, he comes to a conclusion about what Kaoru-dono is. Gods and goddesses are children of something such as sun and life. Surely Little Goddess was a child of the rain. Therefore there have to be more. So perhaps Kaoru-dono is another goddess asked to watch over him. He won’t allow himself to consider the alternative.

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Why is she here? He thinks this with mingled anger and relief when she appears in Hiko’s home. In an effort to control himself, he doesn’t look back at her and Yahiko. “Kaoru? Kaoru please talk to me. Just tell me what’s wrong.” The panic in Yahiko’s voice drains him of anger, and Kenshin whips his eyes to Kaoru-dono. She’s pale, thinner, and stroking her fingers over his goddess’ shrine. Desperately, he shoves away his hope. Little Goddess was a nothing more than a wisp of a ghost when he told her to leave. 

 

She’s gone and isn’t coming back. Did Kaoru not eat anything after he left? He’s shocked when she throws herself into a bow. “Baka deshi, take the boy and fetch some water.” Kenshin bites back the urge to argue when the murderous ki washes over them and instead leaves with Yahiko. It’s not until they reach the stream that Yahiko speaks. “Kaoru’s going to be fine with him isn’t she?” He takes a few breaths before responding to Yahiko. “He’s not dangerous to her. Why were you so panicked when you came inside?” 

 

Yahiko’s knuckles are white and he stares at the water. “It was like she wasn’t there the entire way here. She’s been staring at water and walked all the way here without saying a word or asking for directions. And in Tokyo…” The words seem to catch in his throat. A shaky exhale and he tries again. “In Tokyo she mostly stayed in bed, limped around when out of bed, and couldn’t keep food or tea down.” 

 

Kenshin has to strain to catch what Yahiko whispers. “I was hoping she would get better coming here. Megumi was too.” He scrubs his sleeves over his eyes jerkily. “We can only wait and see, Yahiko.” The walk back is silent save for the soft sloshing of water. Both of them drop their buckets on Master’s floor at the sight of Kaoru lying prone on the floor and Kenshin cringes inwardly. He can see the vein on Master’s forehead throb at the sight of water, but ignores the imbedded reaction in favor of rushing to Kaoru’s side.

 

“You traveled for ten years as a wanderer. Did it take you that long to understand the reason behind the Hiten Mitsurugi or were you merely trying to atone for what you did as a hitokiri?” Kenshin’s hands paused in inexpertly attending to another’s illness as his mouth worked trying to find the words for his answer. “It was both. And because of what I said to you fifteen years ago. I could see people suffering before my eyes-” Hiko cut him off and blew back his cloak in a grand gesture. “Even though you’re a baka deshi, you can still talk like a man when it comes time to act.”

 

In a sweeping grand walk to the door, Hiko yelled behind him. “Come with me now! I will pass on the final technique of the Hiten Mitsurugi to you!” A pause at the doorway and he glances at the water remaining on his floor. “The child will stay here and clean up the mess you two caused.” Kenshin follows Hiko obediently and only allows himself to look back at Kaoru once.

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Before heading to battle, in a rare moment absent of both Hiko and Yahiko, Kenshin is startled to hear Kaoru murmur in her sleep. “Here… Kenshin… ‘M here. Promise...” The icy block lodged in his throat melts from unexpected warmth. He stops himself from touching her, but can’t stop the words escaping from him. “I know. I’ll come back.” Kaoru stays asleep through the battles, and even being transported back home to the dojo. The only reason why any of them keep their sanity is because she looks content in her sleep with a small smile toying with the corners of her mouth.

 

The first thing Kenshin does when Megumi clears him for moving about, is laundry. He cleans everything multiple times. When Kaoru-dono wakes, she asks for paper and quiet. Kenshin knows he may have gone overboard when she cringes at the sight of tea, but notes that she has a stack of papers and a box set off to the side tucked between miniature mountains of sake. He shares worried glances with Sano, Megumi, and Yahiko each time they see Kaoru’s shaky steps. 

 

They’ve taken every available moment to treasure time with her. Yahiko is demanding she teach him lessons from the sidelines, Megumi has bags under her eyes from visiting so much, and Sano keeps bringing sake. He knows Sano means well, but sake isn’t going to make Kaoru bond with him. A drunk Kaoru-dono is a crazed maniac. 

 

Kaoru doesn’t get better, and Tomoe’s brother appears bringing up several feelings best left alone. She doesn’t flinch away when he tells them of his past. Kaoru even greets him normally the next day, and then they all stand together on the day of Enishi’s attack. Smoke obscures his vision of Kaoru for only a few minutes. When it clears, Kaoru is pinned to the dojo wall by a sword.


	7. Chapter 7

Little Goddess, Tomoe, and now…. Now Kaoru is gone as well. What use is this sword when it can’t protect those he loves the most? He feels as though he’s walking through water and pays no heed to the voices of those calling him. So when Kenshin finds himself in a village of outcasts slumped over his chained sword, and cannot bring himself to wonder why his sword is wrapped in chains. He can’t care anymore. It hurts too much.

 

Sano comes eventually speaking of revenge and taking down those who had wronged Kaoru. Even the punch Sano throws doesn’t penetrate the litany in his head. Tired. Hurts too much. I can’t- No more. Please. When Yahiko comes, it’s to plead for help. It’s almost enough to force himself to move. Almost enough. In the end, it’s Tomoe who gives him the clues and he breaks his chains.

 

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Yahiko stares at him hard during a rare lucid moment when Kenshin visits him in his sickbed. Megumi doesn’t look at him as she binds Yahiko’s wounds. “Kaoru left you that box.” His eyes follow Yahiko’s fingers pointing by the door, and his mind stutters at the sight of a scrawl reminding him of a paper tucked between the pages of Tomoe’s diary. 

 

It whispers to him of late nights. Of Tomoe’s soft voice teaching someone invisible to her eyes. He ignores the way his shaking fingers lift the lid and his breath stutters upon the sight of his top. Kenshin traces the scratches and looks at the faded and flaked paint. Little Goddess is Kaoru. He wants to laugh from relief, but instead he speaks. “Kaoru’s alive.” It’s true. He can feel it deep in his bones.

 

Kaoru looks thin and worn, but they can see her watching them battle with a smile. Kenshin doesn’t doubt that he’ll win and take Kaoru back home. Even when it looks as though Enishi will win. Kenshin has never been so tired, and it’s all he can do to keep his eyes open after he wins. When he looks to Kaoru, he can see her eyes are focused on the diary in Misao’s arms. Had he any doubt of her being Little Goddess, it would have shriveled up and died the moment she took the diary to Enishi. 

 

Enishi looks at her as though she’s an anomaly when she gives it to him before boarding the boat. It’s not until they’re seated and he’s resisting the urge to lean against her that she speaks. “I love you all so much.” Her voice startles them from the quiet contentment and awe that had settled over them from a returned loved one. Kenshin can’t help but stare when he notices her body becoming translucent.  
“We- we love you too Kaoru.” Megumi chokes out with horror blooming on her features. Kaoru smiles fondly, leans back, and falls off the side of the boat. They scrabble to the side of the boat in time to see her body turn to foam before hitting the water. Kenshin feels as though the ground has been yanked from beneath him, and notices a soft keening noise. A glance at the others forces him to realize that it’s coming from himself. He welcomes when everything goes dark.

 

Megumi can feel her lips tremble as she realizes that, yet again, she was unable to tell Kaoru how much she meant to her. From the corner of her eye, she can see devastation written across Yahiko’s face. Some tender part of her forces her to reach out to try and comfort him, but he flinches away from her. “I’m not a child.” The rest of the boat ride continues in grief tainted silence. 

 

Megumi is increasingly concerned when Kenshin sleeps for weeks and hopes for him to wake soon so he can do something about Yahiko. Yahiko is wandering the halls late at night and is always pausing outside of Kaoru’s room. What Megumi didn’t expect was for Kenshin to push food away when he awoke. She’s just lost Kaoru and Sano’s on the run from the law. Now is she to lose Kenshin too? He can see the thoughts written across her face. She doesn’t understand that he just needs time alone right now. Kenshin just needs time to grieve.

 

When soft whimpering noises wake him late at night, he stands on shaky legs to walk to Yahiko’s room. It’s not until arms are wrapped around him that he realizes something important. Yahiko needs him to be strong right now. There’s no time to grieve. Carefully, a bit awkwardly too, he places his arms around the boy and allows himself a few more moments to grieve.

 

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A few months later, Megumi has left for Aizu, and Kenshin has an epiphany while doing laundry. Kaoru has always always come back for him before… So why not now? This time he doesn’t crush the fragile hope rising in his chest. He glances at the gates daily after this.

 

Perhaps this is why an oro slips when Yahiko says the woman blue-black hair and blue eyes asked him for a spar. On some level, he hadn’t expected her to come back. At least, he thinks she’s Kaoru. His anticipation rises as he watches the woman’s moves with Yahiko. “...Kaoru?” The look in Yahiko’s eyes is part pleading and part hope. Kenshin feels the same way, and notes how she hasn’t looked in his direction even once. “Of course Little Yahiko.” Yahiko’s chest puffs and he starts shouting about being called little with a grin on his face. Kenshin only has eyes for Kaoru when she flashes a grin in his direction and taps once. He has only one thought as he presses his face to her hair. Finally, Kaoru is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do we think guys? Do I need an epilogue or is it fine on its own? I tried to keep events the same without telling the story exactly the same way so that it wouldn't bore everyone.


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